Making Scents

I'm really obsessed with perfume. It seems logical to me I should make my own. Reading Jessica Verday's The Hollow has sealed this decision for me. Rummaging around online, it seems like it's not actually that expensive to do. I just to find the initial equipment to get started, and most of the websites I've found so far are either defunct or based in the US. I'm convinced there must be somewhere local I can get what I need - Boots should stock essential oils, I know a couple of shops that do/did stock fragrance oils. Then it's just getting the odds and ends for mixing, storing, etc. There must be a UK website somewhere, right?

I have this crazy dream of making enough money from my writing that I can quit, move to the sea, and spent my weeks writing and my weekends making perfume, and I have an open fireplace and a cat. Maybe a donkey too. I think the closest I'll get is probably just ... well, what I'm doing now, which is not living by the sea, writing in the evenings, and owning various snakes. But if I add perfume-making into the mix, I'm one step closer to my dream.

Wild Retrospectacular, Day Four

October 30^th 2007

I've decided I may have been overly-optimistic with my aim to finish Wild by the end of the month. It's turning out to be a lot longer than I originally thought and, short of skipping work for the next two days and writing non-stop, I don't think there's even a chance of the first draft being finished.

I'm pretty sure I was planning to do Nanowrimo in 2007. In fact, that may even be when I started working on AFTERLIFE*, so presumably that was why I was so keen to wrap Wild up by the end of October. I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to start a brand new project for Nano, rather than finish the one I had going on already, but nobody has ever accused me of logical thinking. In any case, from here on in, every Wild-related blog entry has pretty much been a refrain of I will never finish this book oh God why? because I don't learn lessons.

Tomorrow: Nome makes a New Year's Resolution!

*Trivia! The original working title for AFTERLIFE was Midnight Scream, and then Death for the Born for the longest time. I changed it from Midnight Scream because it sounded far too Point Horror-ish (not that I didn't love Point Horror with a passion as a teenager), although the urban legend known as the Midnight Scream is referenced in AFTERLIFE. This has nothing to do with Wild whatsoever.

Plotting a good plot

So a few years ago I wrote a short story called Painless, which was published in Midnight Times ezine, which is now defunct, I think. It's about a professional thief who can't feel pain as a result of a childhood incident. I really loved the character, Theo Kane, and the world I touched on, and for years I thought about making it into a novel. Never got round to it though.


Then recently I submitted Painless to a Static Movement anthology, Weird City, which should be available soon (and apparently Caitlin Kittredge is going to be reviewing it, which makes me a bit giddy and fangirly). And there's going to be a Weird City 2, so it seems clear to me that I should write a sequel to Painless. I left Theo's story pretty unfinished, and since I don't think a novel will ever materialise, I've decided on a different tactic. I'm going to write a bunch of short stories set in Theo's world, about her and her cohorts, and then publish them as a collection.


I'm not planning to do them all at once; Halflife and Blood and Bones are still my priorities, but obviously short stories aren't as time-consuming as novels or novellas, so I see no reason why I can't aim to have a good collection out later in the year. They should make for nice side projects. Huzzahs!

Wild Retrospectacular, Day Three

Today, a lost scene from Wild.

October 5th 2007

Out in the lot, cold air hit her hard, cutting through the crimson haze of fury. The mist fell away again and doubt assailed her as she gazed at Weaver across the empty lot. The night felt cruel, the shadows creeping with violent intent. Weaver was part of it, one with the darkness. Unmoving, unblinking, he stared at her, waiting for her to make her move. His wolf form looked more powerful now that she was human, a deadly weapon.

Lizzie suddenly felt all too human.

She swallowed her fear. Hadn’t Harris been big and strong too? And hadn’t she fought him back over the years? She’d matched him for every blow. Maybe she hadn’t been as strong physically, but she’d never let that stop her defending herself. Never.

Gulping down lungfuls of cool air, she slowly crossed the lot, never taking her eyes off Weaver.

When a few scant metres separated them, she stopped. The wind whipped her hair into her eyes, obscuring her vision for a second. She hurriedly clawed her hair back in time to see him rise, moving like a living shadow across the concrete. He slunk, low to the ground, a predator’s movements. Careful. Measured. Precise. Dangerous.

Primal fear danced down Lizzie’s spine as he approached. Deeply buried instincts told her to run, told her she was outmatched by this beast. Told her this was death, stalking towards her with deliberate menace. This was her death, eyes glowing like the embers of a dying fire. She quailed but stood her ground.

If this was death, she had nothing left to fear.

This scene no longer exists, but Evan Weaver does. Sort of. In the original draft, he was very definitely a bad guy, as you may surmise from this snippet. But somewhere over the course of the re-writing, he morphed into a not-really-a-bad-guy-just-not-a-friend-to-Lizzie. And then he morphed into a love interest, which totally wasn't supposed to happen. So I had to rename him.

I was carrying about three years of mental association of "Evan Weaver = bad guy," and as long as he was still called Evan, the story didn't feel right to me, even though his role had changed completely. Initially I renamed him Dylan as a place-holder but that didn't feel right either. On my final sweep-through of Wild, I spent a couple of hours mulling over the right name for the character, one that fitted the kind of person he was and had the resonance I wanted. I eventually settled on Seth.

Depending where you take the name from (Biblical roots or Egyptian roots), Seth either means "appointed" or "dazzle." I felt like both worked - Seth is a favoured son of the Kurtadam werewolf, and he definitely dazzles Lizzie. But Seth was also the Egyptian god of chaos, and that works for me too, given the plans I have for the rest of the trilogy.

Tomorrow: Nome is overly-optimistic.

Action! And I mean circus grade action!

I am very slowly making progress on Halflife again. Tonight: Snakes! Ghosts! Dogwood bushes! And that's kind of it... I'm building up towards the return of an important character from AFTERLIFE, as well as the introduction of a new important character, but at the moment I kind of feel like I'm just bouncing Yasmin between plot points. Meh. We'll get it in editing.

Once again, I find myself feeling quite envious of Nome 2007 with her easy 2-3k a-day output. I'd be so far into this book by now if I could still do that. My physiotherapy never materialised, but I'm able to take it a bit easier on the computer work at my new job most of the time, so I haven't been having many problems with my arm. Which is good! But it's still not 2k a day. Which is bad!

The frogurt is also cursed.

Wild Retrospectacular, Day Two

August 6^th 2007

I also did a lot of thinking about Wild and where it's going. It's moving along really well, but I'm worried that, at nearly 20k, nothing much has actually happened yet. It's either going to be a total epic or will need seriously heavy editing once it's done. But I'm pleased with it so far - all the characters are taking shape, I think the plot is good, and best of all, the writing is coming easily. Every time I sit down to work on it, I turn out between 2 - 3k. Whether or not it's any good is another matter...

I feel very nostalgic about Nome 2007, who was churning out 2-3k a day and found writing Wild an easy experience. Of course, I was only two months in then, and my RSI hadn't yet turned into chronic nerve damage. Happy days! (Is it significant that this is before I owned a laptop, and therefore was writing at a desk with a PC and presumably had much better posture than I do now I'm slumped on the sofa every evening with my laptop? My desk was angled so I physically couldn't see the TV, which meant I listened to music, whereas nowadays the TV is my writing companion. The TV and Kyle, as a rule, but I usually ignore him. And the TV.)

Tomorrow: A lost scene!

Wild: A Retrospectacular!

So Wild is in the process of being formatted ready for the Kindle, and because I've been obsessing endlessly about it forever and ever I'm pretty excited about finally publishing it, I ended up going back through my LJ archive last week and digging up loads of old entries I'd made about it. Some of them are quite amusing in retrospect; others are just sad in a "wow, was I still talking about that then?"

In honour of the five years, eleven rewrites, two agents, two boyfriends, two housemates, countless tropical fish, three jobs, and numerous lesser stories Wild has outlasted, I'm going to be reposting some of these old entries. Share my obsession! Let's begin with the very first entry I ever posted about Wild:

June 14^th 2007

Figuring it was probably best to hold off on more revision until I heard back from Ricia, I jumped into a new project - Wild. Usually my new projects fall apart around the 5k mark, for whatever reason. This one is going suspiciously smoothly, with no immenient sign of abandonment. I'm loving it so far - it's got werewolves, drug addicts and quests for redemption. I love my protagonist, Lizzie. She's sharp, cynical and has a wealth of problems to deal with. It's going to be dark and uncomfortable and I can already see a sequel shaping up. So Wild is go!

Wow. June 2007. I was 24 years old and convinced I'd never be able to write anything that wasn't Scarlett-related. I'd never finished anything longer than a short story that wasn't about Scarlett, and since my then-agent couldn't sell my Scarlett novel, I figured I'd better try something else and prove to myself I wasn't a one-trick-pony. I love that I thought Wild was going "suspiciously smoothly" already. Clearly my subconscious recognised trouble when I wrote it.

Tomorrow: Nome suspects that her magnum opus may need some editing... 

Guest Blog - Su Halfwerk

Note - this should have gone up on Saturday 26th, but due to the Great Snake Adventure, I didn't get to my computer all weekend. Anyway, I'm very pleased to have Su here talking about her new release, INTRICATE ENTANGLEMENT and a little of the inspiration behind it. Take it away, Su!

 I See Her Face
Damnation Books released my horror/thriller novella, Intricate Entanglement, on March 1^st. Every time I’m asked about the mentally ill folks in the book, a certain old lady’s face flashes in my memory.

Few years back, while attending training in Manhattan, I stayed in a hotel close to the training center. It was a short walking distance, less than ten minutes, for sure. Cold fall wind made me jam my hands into the pockets of my thick jacket, but I always walked that way; alone, minding my own business. One day, I noticed a woman standing in my path; I veered to the side to avoid her. She moved and blocked me again, so I lifted my gaze. She was one of the homeless people, frail, old, her oily hair in desperate need of a meeting with a shampoo, her long dirty nails begged to be clipped. On top of all that, she reeked. Use your imagination here, all kinds of BOs hovered about her. Her eyes were trained on me.

“You think you’re better than me?” she crooned.

I looked around me in bewilderment, was she talking to me?

“Yeah, you.” Now she shouted more than talked. “I’m talkin’ to you, high and mighty corporate bitch.” She literally spat the last two words at me. People moved away from us. I also noticed the thin stick of wood in her hand, too thin and filthy to be called swagger stick, yet it matched it in thinness. I was scared. Imagine to be beaten by her in front of my colleagues.

“I don’t think that,” I said, and I meant it. I never noticed her before, though she had noticed me plenty, obviously.

A man passing by whispered to me. “Ignored her, she’s insane. The more you talk the more you aggravate her. She’s nuts.”

Despite my fear, I was taken aback by his words. People knew what she was, how she was, and yet she roamed the streets. God knows where she slept, how she ate, and what she ate. I looked at her again. She could be someone’s grandmother, somewhere where she could be cared for.

Okay, it might have been my mood, I was in one of those melancholic ones, but I felt bad for her. She must’ve sensed it, for she narrowed her eyes. “Now you’re feelin’ superior to me. Too bad, I’m gonna beat ya so hard…”

I didn’t move, didn’t even blink. It was mostly fear of embarrassment than pain. The jacket was thick enough to ward the latter, unless she went for my face. By now, we had reasonable crowd around us.

My mind buzzed with a word she used, one that stood out in the middle of her threat. Superior. This woman used to be someone educated, or at least I hoped so.

“Listen to me,” I said slowly, “I don’t know you, you don’t know me. Let’s leave it that.”

She cackled. “Ya scared?”

I nodded. I was, no use denying it

“Then that’s good enough for today. You may go to hell now.” She gestured, allowing me to walk on.

It took every muscle in my body, every will I ever possessed, to walk and not run the hell out of there. She had said “today,” she was planning on more encounters. Unless I wanted to be late for the training sessions by taking the longer route (half of the other roads were blocked), I was going to meet her again during my remaining ten days of training.

She became a fixture on my path, early mornings and late evenings when I come out of the office, yet she never approached me again. Instead, she walked parallel to me, watching me, that stick in her hand.

One day, while on my way back to the hotel, I felt a pull on my handbag. I was warned about pickpockets and my first reaction was “Heeey!”

Till today, I’m not sure whether the man was a thief or not, but the loud WHOOSH that descended on him, and his subsequent yelp of pain were real alright.

My knight with grimy wooden stick had come charging to my rescue. “You okay? Huh?” She asked, the whole while jerking the stick in the direction of the fleeing man, exposing whatever remained of her yellow teeth at him.

I convinced her that I was okay.

We never spoke after that, even though she still guarded my daily trips to the office. The time came when my training was over and I was leaving for the airport, it was midday, and I didn’t see her. I wanted to say something nice to her, maybe even give her money. She didn’t seem high and there was no alcohol smell in the miasma of her odors. I had a feeling, however, that I would have offended her if I offered her anything.

I think she developed the tough act to protect herself, but that didn’t rule out that she had some mental problems as well.

She didn’t belong on the streets, she should have been somewhere warm with a full tummy and washed hair.

This is a true story, one that has nothing to do with the stories in Intricate Entanglement except for the fact that they remind me of her. I hope she’s in a better place now.

Intricate Entanglement takes place in a mental hospital for the criminally insane. These are stories of the patients, each told by them. Seven or eight stories in total—depending how you look at it—that touch on such topics like growing old, sexual preferences, and obsessions. The central character, Doug Pinkham, is an opportunistic reporter who got more than what he bargained for.

Find out more about Intricate Entanglement here.

Naomi, thanks for the opportunity to guest blog on your journal and to share this experience with your readers.

Author Bio:

Su Halfwerk writes in the horror and paranormal romance genres. From a tender age, the written word left a strong impression on her, later on terrifying, blood-chilling books became the object of her interest. Su’s style in horror combines shuddery terror with elements of surprise; some would even call it an enigmatic twist. In the world of paranormal romance, she transforms the desire to scare into a quest to seduce and tantalize.

When not writing, Su is designing book trailers for herself and other authors.

Intricate Entanglement is Su’s latest release from Damnation Books, a mix of a thriller with an overlay of

maddening darkness.

You can find Su online in any of these places:

www.su-halfwerk.com
http://www.suhalfwerk.blogspot.com/
www.facebook.com/Su.Halfwerk
http://twitter.com/SuHalfwerk

Or watch the trailer here:

More Authors out of Wicked Pretty Things

I think that makes six withdrawals altogether now, with Ann Aguirre pulling out of a future anthology.It'll be interesting to see what develops next week; I don't see how Running Press can continue with this project. It's going to be forever tainted. 

I feel like if you have to ask the question "why does this matter?" you won't understand the answer. But for what my opinion is worth, this is awesome. I don't want to live in a society where certain parts of that society are considered less worthy than others. I don't want people to decide for me what I should and shouldn't be exposed to. I don't want the experiences of one person to be deemed less valuable than those of another. And I don't want to lend my support (or my money) to people who think being gay is shameful, irrelevant, or something to be dismissed. 

I'm a consumer and I'll be voting with my wallet. 


NB - I forgot to cross-post my original blog about this from my livejournal. If you're interested, it's here.

I want some

UF/Horror Challenge - The Midnight Hunt

 

I feel like this is really a book of two halves. On the one hand, you've got this intense, animalistic depiction of werewolves and pack life that I loved - the use of lupine body language and behaviour was very strong, and the lack of a mental division between the "wolf side" and the "human side" really worked for me. Raand's werewolves are pretty damn primal about pretty much everything (although that does make me wonder how they managed to stay hidden in society for so long - Sylvan, the Alpha, is constantly leaping over desks and changing into a wolf mid-sentence, and she's the one with the best control. So God knows how the rest of the pack managed. But I digress).

On the other hand, we have a love story that stretches my credulity. Sylvan and Drake, a human medic, only have two real encounters before they're lusting over each other so badly they can't even wear clothes or something. One is when they meet in the ER and are scrapping over the best way to treat a fatally wounded werewolf. The other is over breakfast. It's not the stuff great love affairs are made of, but they're both so instantly obsessed with each other it's a bit ridiculous. The book avoids openly saying it's a "fated to mate" scenario, but it's there and I never like that trope. It just feels lazy to me. Why bother developing a relationship if people can just smell nice, right? Right, Edward? Right?

Anyway. Since the "romance" (sorry, but it's hot sex. Hot sex is great, but it's not the same as love, and Sylvan and Drake really don't spend enough time together when they're not angsting, hallucinating, or shagging for me to believe they're in love)... Where was I going? Oh yeah. Since the "romance" is a driving factor of this book, I ended up with mixed feelings. There's a very interesting plot here revolving around supernatural politics - the supernatural community of this world has only recently emerged, and are fighting for rights and economic strength - but it gets swamped by Sylvan and Drake's raging hormones. There are some fascinating side characters, like vampire police officer, Jody Gates and human reporter Becca Land, and there is some wonderful writing.

But it all gets a bit lost, and short shrift is given to the underlying plot of humans showing up infected with were fever, and the potential damage this could cause to the fragile balance between humans and supernaturals. The big climactic fight with the baddy was over so fast and so easy I pretty much missed it, and we're left with Sylvan and Drake all loved-up. Which is fine, but I would have liked more external conflict to match the internal angsting.

Ultimately, this is a book that displays all the strengths and weaknesses of the genre. Intriguing world-building and vivid writing, coupled with an over-reliance on sex. I'm almost certainly going to buy the sequel, Blood Hunt, as it appears to focus more on Jody and Becca, who I loved. I didn't hate Sylvan and Drake by any means, but I can't help feeling after a couple of weeks of hot sex, they're probably going to be all like, "so, do you like ... stuff?" and then sit there with nothing to say to each other and it'll be really awkward.

 

5 / 24 words. 21% done!

Guest blog - Greg Chapman

This is a little different from my usual guest blogs. Greg and I were discussing ways of doing the old "author interview/guest post" bit with a twist, and this is what we came up with. His intrepid reporter, Roy Elliott, conducts a rather awkward interview with Ethan Banning over at Greg's blog. And my slightly less intrepid reporter, Janey Carter, interviews Jessica, the protagonist of Greg's new novel TORMENT right here. Let's go!

This is Janey Carter reporting for the Herald, March 21st 2011. I'm with Jessica Newman. Jessica, thanks for agreeing to meet with me today. Maybe we can start with your coming to Scotland. What brought you here?

 Um…I’m here to sort out my father’s estate. He … passed away …very sudden. I haven’t seen him for a long time. I’m actually surprised I came here, but I suppose I didn’t have a choice.

 Can you tell me a bit about your childhood memories of growing up with a deacon for a father? How did that shape you?

 I don’t know if I want to talk about that… My childhood was … tragic. My mother died when I was a little girl and it tore my family apart. 

 A lot of people think they understand Catholicism and exorcism, but have your experiences correlated with what we see on TV? Or is there more to it than we're lead to believe?

 How did you know about that – have you been checking up on me? What my father did to my mother was horrible! (crying heard) I don’t think I want to answer your questions anymore! Where’s my husband – where’s David?

 Let's talk about the house - what's it been like to be there at a time like this? Has it been a distraction?

 It’s just a house! It’s falling to pieces… my father just wasted away in it! Please can we stop now?

 Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't realise this was such a difficult issue for you. Do you want to take a break?

 (Sniff)….No, no, I’m sorry; just a bit of a mess at the moment. Sorry. It’s just so hard trying to deal with all this after so many years.

 Okay then, let's start over. Why don't you tell me how your husband's been dealing with all these … stresses? You're obviously a very close couple...

 Oh, David’s fantastic; very understanding. He’s been by my side ever since we met in college. He’s a real tower of strength you know? When I told him about my childhood and my mother’s death he was never judgmental – he just wanted to help me recover. So when I said we had to come here he didn’t hesitate to come with me. I’m very lucky to have him. Our son, though – we had to literally drag him here. David’s actually been fixing the manor since we first arrived, but I think it’s beyond repair.

 So you don't see the two of you relocating here permanently?

 No, oh God no! I couldn’t live in that house. Just feels like there’s something wrong with it – apart from the fact my father lived there. I’d say we’ll probably sell it, but still, maybe I’ll find something there that will help me get some closure, you know?

 Can we talk about your mother again? I know it's hard, but do you feel you had to grow up faster as a result of her loss?

 I guess I didn’t have a choice. I was a victim too. My father murdered my mother and I was just left to deal with it. It wasn’t her fault…she was sick and he… he just (crying heard). He was supposed to be a man of God!...

 Alright, this is … this is clearly too upsetting for you. Is there anything you'd like to say to finish things off?

 (Sniff) I’m sorry. I bet you wish you didn’t decide to pick me at random for an interview hey? I just want to get out of Scotland…I’m sorry, it looks lovely, but I think I would have preferred to visit under happier circumstances. Memories hurt. They hurt so much…

 I think that's enough now, Jessica. Thanks for your time.

Find out more about TORMENT over at Damnation Books.

"He went off the deep end and become a mad snake"

So we're eating our dinner and watching Castle and otherwise minding our own business, when there's this knock on the door. Kyle answers and there's a couple there with a spaniel that we've never seen before (we'd never seen the couple or the spaniel, just to clarify). And when ensued was a conversation a bit like this:

Couple: Hello, we're from Number 15. Are you missing a snake?

Us: YES! YES WE ARE! WE ARE MISSING A SNAKE! DO YOU HAVE OUR SNAKE? YOU HAVE OUR SNAKE!!!

And then the spaniel started barking and there was a conversation about anime, but the upshot was... These people had Ket. They had our snake. OMG. What are the chances? It's been six months since he escaped, yet a group of kids found him today on our front lawn. They called an adult who took Ket in, put him in a nice tank, and started asking around. What are the odds of any of that happening? I can only think that Ket's been in the house somewhere all winter, and the recent warmer weather got him moving. I am so unbelievably grateful that those kids did the sensible, kind thing instead of ignoring or tormenting Ket, as they could easily have done.

So he's home! My Number One Snake is home. He's bigger. He seems quite sluggish, but I guess he's had a busy day. We've bathed him, we're going to feed him tomorrow, and get him to the vet on Friday. And on Saturday we are damn well buying some snake locks for his tank.

It's so weird... I dreamed on Sunday night that we found him. And I was thinking today that all these nice, small things keep happening to me at the moment. Nothing life-changing, but just little things that make me pause and feel thankful. And this, this is incredible. Of all the things I excepted when we got that knock at the door, Ket coming home was the last of them.

But I am very, very grateful to my neighbours and their spaniel.

Why I Write For Free

I don't want to be ranty or anything (I'm exhausted, and therefore prone to emotional outbursts like "I do do the washing up! Just not always on the same day I say I will!"*) but something happened yesterday that really annoyed me, and I've been stewing over it ever since. Apparently an author who'd contributed a story to Static Movement altered his contract to give himself one copy of the anthology he was in. Now, Static Movement are very upfront about being a "for the love" market. No payment, no contributor's copy. You as a writer are perfectly entitled to think that's not fair and therefore not submit your work there. But if you do submit your work there, or any other such non-paying market, you are not entitled to alter your contract to reflect what's "standard" elsewhere.

I've seen in several places recently discussions over whether authors should ever work for free. I've seen the arguments for and against, and there are valid ones on both side. If writing is your living, of course you should seek payment for it. If you put in hours, weeks, maybe years of work to produce the best book you possibly can, of course you should seek payment for it. That's your right. But don't say things like "if you don't write for payment, you're devaluing the work of writers everywhere," because I think that's bullshit.

I think it's bullshit (sorry, Dad, but sometimes swearing is appropriate) for two reasons. Firstly, "payment" to me does not always equal "money." Secondly, my reasons for writing are nothing to do with anyone else. If I choose to write for free, that doesn't affect any other writer I know. And I do write for free, a lot - or at, least I don't always get monetary compensation for my writing.

I write a monthly horoscope column for a local magazine. In exchange I get a nice bottle of wine every now and then (two at Christmas!) and I get my name and website printed in that magazine every month. The mag also ran a competition to give away a copy of AFTERLIFE in 2009.

I write a monthly horoscope column for Queered Fiction too. In exchange, I've been able to call on my editor there to format my Kindle books for me - something I have no idea how to do and no inclination to learn. I'm not a techie person, and I'd much rather leave something that important to someone who can definitely turn out a wonderful finished product than try to muddle through on my own.

As is probably well-known, I contribute a lot of stories to Static Movement, and am editing a couple of anthologies there, for free. I do it because I love writing and sharing my work, because I enjoy editing and seeing other people's work, and because I like being part of an enthusiastic and growing writers' community. And, of course, as a result of working with/for Static Movement, I have stories out there in thirteen different print anthologies. I'm quite pleased with that.

I'm not saying everyone should write for free. It's an issue that's the same as whether you should go indie, seek an agent, or keep your writing for yourself. In other words, every writer is different and has different reasons for writing. A lot of people will probably think I'm wasting stories I could find paying homes for by sending them to non-paying markets. But you know what? I'll write a lot more stories, so that doesn't matter to me. One day I'll compile all these stories into one volume and put it up for sale.

What I am saying is that it's ridiculous to submit to a very obviously non-paying market, then stomp when you don't get paid. And it's downright unprofessional to just start altering your contracts.

*True story. Happened last night. Still haven't done the washing up.

NIGHT AND CHAOS odds and sods

Novel Addiction is running a giveaway for NIGHT AND CHAOS right now (and right here), so if you'd like to be in the running for a copy, just head to the post. 

In other news, Free Book Reviews had some kind and (to me) fascinating things to say about NIGHT AND CHAOS here. 

I am looking forward to further works from this author and was glad I chose to go ahead a read a fantasy novel diguised as a romance.

So the interesting to me bit is that the reviewer thought this would be romance, which he usually avoids, but ended up considering it a fantasy, which he enjoys. Obviously I'm really pleased he ended up liking the book despite it not being something he'd normally read, but moreover, I'm intrigued to see which genres he classifies it under. When I originally started writing NIGHT AND CHAOS, I envisioned it as a romance. I quickly realised that wasn't going to happen and refocused it as an urban fantasy. I still consider it urban fantasy. But I can see the elements that would slot it into the romance or fantasy genres too. I love that you can have so many different, and equally true, interpretations of the same book.

Japan and Other Stuff

First of all, a massive thank you to everyone who Tweeted, blogged about, or bought a book for mine and others' efforts to raise money for Japan. I made enough money to make a small but significant donation to World Vision for the relief effort, so yay! I'll be donating my money on Friday when I get paid, because right now I'm pretty much a charity case in my own right.

Anyway! How was everyone's weekend? I rewarded myself for getting Wild off my plate by writing 6k on a short story. I've got the ending to write still, then I'm going to submit it to Static Movement's OBE anthology. My God. I was totally obsessed with out-of-body experiences when I was younger. It saddens me still that I never managed to have one, despite reading many, many books on the subject. I suppose there's still time.

I was also guest blogging at Splash of our Worlds about why it took me two years to write NIGHT AND CHAOS (which seems pretty speedy compared to some books we won't even mention). And I noticed a review for UNGRATEFUL DEAD at Tez Says which is cool since, given this is just a freebie for promotional purposes, I haven't been soliciting or expecting reviews for it.

In other news, dwg  directed my attention to this, which is relevant to my interests:

If you hang out at JA Konrath's blog for any amount of time, you'll see all of these arguments appear with almost clockwork regularity. Incidentally, it is worth hanging out at Konrath's blog for his insight and information on self-publishing, but you have to wade through a ton of attitude in the comment threads, which dulls the experience somewhat. I've said before that I don't think of myself as an "indie author," just as an author. I'm exploring all the options open to me a writer hoping to make this my full-time career, and that covers epublishing, self-publishing, small presses, and traditional publishing. So I get a bit peeved when I see the Us and Them division between indies and traditionally published writers, because, come on! We should all be on the same side, right? I get equally peeved whenever I see talk about agents and publishers as "gatekeepers" and how there's some big mafia-esque conspiracy holding the talented down and elevating the unworthy.

Look, it's really easy to get bitter and cynical in this business. It's really easy to look at the people around you, be they indie or traditional, and wonder what they're doing that you're not to be so successful. But the assumption I see over and over - that good writers are being shut out for arcane reasons - is ridiculous. I believe there's a lot of validity in self-publishing right now that didn't exist a few years ago, or I wouldn't be doing it. But I also believe that if my dream literary agent came a-knocking saying she adored my work and wanted to sign me up immediately, I'd go for it.

Because really, what I want as a writer is readers who will love my work. Whatever method works best to get my books into readers hands is the method I'm going to go with.

Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent. Here's a picture of some leopard geckos!*

*I am working very hard to bring leopard geckos into my life right now.

Tez Says reviews DEMONISED

And she finds it delightful and deranged, which I find awesome.

If Jeff Lindsay’s Dexter Morgan and J. A. Konrath’s Jacqueline Daniels had a baby together, Naomi Clark’s Ethan Banning would be the result. 
You can read the full review right here.*

*Whenever I write "right here" I imagine myself saying it in a slightly sleazy, innuendo-ish tone. Does anyone read it that way?

Verbal Fillers, Innit?

I'm not entirely sure why this is filed under "love and sex," but I just found an interesting article on Yahoo about verbal fillers. Interesting to me, anyway, because my spoken conversation consists almost entirely of filler because my mouth can't keep up with my brain, and because I adore the English language.

I'm definitely a massive user of "...you know..." and end a lot of sentences this way. The article claims that this is because ",,,you will only use these words when you patently don’t know what you’re talking about or what to say." This is sometimes the case, but more often I end a sentence with "you know" because I'm implying there's no need to finish the sentence; what I'm about to say is so painstakingly obvious, you should be able to fill in the gap yourself.

I'm also a big user of "right" to signal I've got something important to say, dammit. I use "so." in the same manner, as readers of my blog may have noticed. I do not use the phrase "innit" unless I am mocking chavs who use the phrase "innit" as if it was a real, serious word.

They have missed off my favourite verbal filler ever though, which is "obviously." I preface so much of my speech with that word. And usually what I'm about to say is obvious only to me, or I'm going to say something so random and complex and obscure, or make something so simple so complicated it's painful, rending it even less obvious.

I'm also big on "anyway" to signal a change of subject, even if I don't have anything to follow it up with, something else readers may have noticed. In real life, this means I'll say "anyway!" in a really chirpy manner and then just sit in silence while everyone waits to see what'll happen next. I use "like" when I mean "said," as in "I was like... anyway, obviously, innit?" And I'm also a big fan of just trailing off mid-sentence and pulling faces. The more I think about it, the less I can believe I'm a published author when my vocal communication skills are clearly so poor.

Anyway. I think it's an interesting article. That's pretty much it.

I HAVE FINISHED EDITING WILD! FOR THE ELEVENTH TIME!

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

I am thisclose to finishing Wild. And this time I mean it. No more revisions, no more edits, no more rewrites. OMG. I'm not sure I can imagine what my life will be like. I was hoping to finish the last 40 or so pages by yesterday, but on Tuesday my arm was playing up and last night I had to go out and socialise. AGAINST MY WILL I SHOULD ADD. So tonight and tomorrow will be it. Wild will be ready to unleash on the world.

So I'm kinda stuck now. This book has undergone a lot of changes since 2007, from straight-up adult urban fantasy to a slightly more YA-ish urban fantasy with a romantic element. However, I struggle to think of it as truly YA. Lizzie is young - university age - but the subject matter is not young. There's heavy drug-use, domestic violence, and a butt-load of angst. I'm not saying those things don't happen in YA fiction, I'm just saying I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea. Personally I think Wild is the best thing I've ever written, but I think, for a lot of reasons, it will be a polarising book.

I don't see it as a controversial book, and I don't want to market it as such. But this isn't a happy, sweet, fluffy book, and Lizzie isn't a typical YA protagonist. So I'm not sure if I should try to flag it as a YA book, an adult book, or to just put it out there and see what readers decide. Once I've spoken to my lovely formatter and got my PDF/mobi copies, I'm planning to do the same as I did with NIGHT AND CHAOS and offer some free copies in exchange for reviews/word spreading, because really, what I think of the book just isn't important. What you think of it is what counts.

Link Stew

First of all, thanks to everyone who's spreading the word about mine and other authors' efforts for Japan. I've seen a definite spike in my sales for NIGHT AND CHAOS and UNGRATEFUL DEAD over the past couple of days, which is awesome! I don't know what this translate to in terms of money to donate to World Vision yet, but whatever we make, it makes a difference, so thank you!
Now, a round-up of randomness:

I'm guest-blogging at Fangtastic Books today, talking about writing like a man. If you're interested in the massive mental effort I put into understanding the male mind in order to write DEMONISED, this is a blog for you.

I'm also over at Baffled Books talking about the role of the book blogger as part of my NIGHT AND CHAOS ebook tour (which I've been too busy to talk about much, but it is happening).

And there's a review of NIGHT AND CHAOS here at Books Glorious Books. Here's a taster of what they made of it:

The storyline was great. Really different to anything I have ever read before. The idea of experiments gone wrong was great and it worked really well.
So I think that's everything for now. I'm off to scavenge for food!

Interview with Fiona Dodwell

Obviously I'm trying to keep the focus on my charitable endeavours this week, but there is other stuff happening in the blogosphere! Like, for example, me interviewing Fiona Dodwell, my fellow Damnation Books author. Fiona's debut novel, THE BANISHING, was released this month, and Fiona took the time to talk to me about the book and her writing. Go!

What were your favourite books as a child and what is your favourite genre to read now?

As a child, I genuinely loved what I love now: anything dark, mysterious, foreboding. I read a lot of Stephen King – with concerned parents peering over my shoulder – and enjoyed some of the lighter teenage horror fiction that was out at the time, such as R.L Stine's horror novels.

What's your creative process like? What do you have to do before you can actually sit down and write?

Once a seed of an idea has formed in my mind, I plan a very general outline of what my story will consist of and where I want to take it. If I need to research something, I normally do that before putting pen to paper. I don't plan my stories rigidly because I love the feeling of being surprised and taken aback by where my story goes and where my character takes me. There is nothing better than breathing life into your book and letting it grow. There is a magic moment when a story comes to life – I live for those moments.

Do you remember the first piece you ever wrote?

Yes, it was a short novel called 'Caged Demon' and I must have been around the age of ten or eleven. I loved that story at the time – I wish I had kept it. It was about a teenager who fell in love with a local man, only to find out he had recently escaped a maximum security prison – and was highly unbalanced! I'm sure if I read it back now I would laugh, but I was proud of it at the time.

Who are your biggest influences as a writer?

A mixture of Stephen King, Susan Hill and William Peter Blatty. I love any writer that can scare me!

What sort of goals do you set yourself when writing a book? Do you have a daily schedule to stick to?

If I feel like writing for four hours a day, I will. Some days I barely squeeze out three pages. I follow my gut instinct and go where the inspiration leads me. I normally have a vague outline in my head and work from that. I don't enjoy planning anything to rigidly because I like to leave room for my characters to grow and my story to bloom.

What are you working on right now?

I am working on my third novel, The Governess, a supernatural horror. I am also in the process of submitting my second novel, The Obsession, for publication.

What advice do you have for any writers just starting out and not sure what to do with their work?

Work hard at your story. Do your best with what you've got, don't be afraid of the delete button -sometimes we have to be our own harshest critic! Don't over-analyse, just write what you want to write, then you can return to the beginning and make your work as strong as it can be. Then, if you're happy with it, you can begin submitting it to publishers or agents. Don't be afraid of rejection – the best have faced that. We all do. Believe in your work and don't under-sell yourself.

Now, tell us about THE BANISHING – it's a gorgeous cover! But what about the story?

Thanks – I love the cover too. Dawne Dominique is an amazing artist. As for The Banishing, it is a story about the struggle of one woman to survive.  That's one strong element throughout my story: survival – and how far you would go to survive.

When Melissa first notices a change in her husband, she puts it down to stress. Long hours at work and on the road. However, when these changes start to become altogether more sinister and frightening, Melissa has to ask some serious questions. Is Mark mentally unwell? Or could be be under the influence of forces darker than she ever imagined? The Banishing explores themes of demonic possession, marital break-down and mental illness.

Where can readers find out more about you and your writing?

Please visit my website, www.fionasfiction.wordpress.com. There you will find a link to buy The Banishing as well as interviews, articles and short stories. The Banishing is available in e-book and paperback formats from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Damnation Books.

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Funds for Japan update!

A couple of other authors are doing the same as me and donating all the money made from their books sales this week to help Japan. Awesome! Here are some details:

JH Sked, author of WolfSong is talking about what she and others are doing here. I really need to credit her with introducing me to this idea, as she was tweeting about it on Sunday and it inspired me to join in. WolfSong is available at Amazon, Smashwords, Diesel, and Sony. You can follow her on Twitter at @JHSked. I've bought my copy of WolfSong! ^_^

Lynda Horner, author of Darlin' Druid, has joined in too, and is talking about it at her blog here. You can buy her book here at Amazon or here from Barnes and Noble.

Laurie over at Laurie's Thoughts is helping spread the word about this, and I'm very grateful to her for that! And I'm also really thankful to anyone who's already bought a book, Tweeted, or blogged about this. It's not often I get a chance to do something that will genuinely make a difference in the world, and I'm delighted to see so many other people pitching in, getting the word out, and giving their time to a cause. I'm sure there are plenty of other people out there in the blogosphere doing their bit to help too, so if you know of anything or anyone, please give me a shout so I can mention it here.

Let's do something good

So, guys, I really want to donate some money to World Vision to help with aid in Japan. I love World Vision, just for the record. Here's what they're saying about the quake and tsumani relief effort:

On March 11, 2011, north eastern Japan was struck by one of the most powerful earthquakes in recorded history – magnitude 8.9 on the Richter scale. Thousands are feared dead and hundreds of thousands have been displaced.

In the wake of a disaster, World Vision is often one of the first organizations to begin relief work by distributing emergency supplies and sending highly-trained staff to assess and respond to the most urgent needs. We remain on the ground for the long haul, rebuilding communities and restoring hope.

Providing support to children and their families is central to World Vision’s efforts in the aftermath of natural disasters.  Your support is needed to help provide emergency supplies to those who have been displaced.  World Vision will also care for child survivors by establishing Child Friendly Spaces. These sites provide children with a safe place to play and help them to experience the structure and security that is often lost during emergency situations.

Unfortunately, like most other people I know, I'm cash poor and can't afford to donate enough to make a difference. What I can, and will, do is donate all the income I make from NIGHT AND CHAOS and UNGRATEFUL DEAD between now and Sunday 19th March to World Vision.

This means I need your help! I'm going to be Tweeting about this, and I'd be really grateful if everyone could retweet and spread the word. NIGHT AND CHAOS and UNGRATEFUL DEAD are currently both priced at $1.14. This is pocket change for most people, but it could turn into a really nice-sized donation for World Vision and get emergency supplies to people in Japan.

I've never done anything like this before, but it's a fond wish of mine to be able to donate to lots of different charities, so I'd love to make a big success of it and do something good for people who need it. Please help me spread the word!

ETA - If you don't have a Kindle, Amazon have a whole bunch of free apps for PCs, phones, etc.

First review for DEMONISED!

Book Goggles reviews Ethan's excellent adventure right here.

 I ... loved the book & look forward to more Banning tales.
Yay!

The review does make the point that to get the full experience, you're probably better off reading AFTERLIFE first, which is something I haven't really discussed before. I tried to make DEMONISED as stand-alone as possible, but because Ethan's story really begins in AFTERLIFE, there are elements of the novella that are probably better fleshed-out if you've read it too.

Hopefully that won't discourage readers - I'm kind of hoping DEMONISED will be a gateway drug and lead people back to AFTERLIFE if they're curious, rather than making readers feel they must read one before reading the other.

Lesbian Werewolves on Dear Author

There's an interesting review/discussion going on over at Dear Author right now. Jill Sorenson reviews The Midnight Hunt by LL Raand and rates it a DNF (did not finish):
.
The raw animalism and overwhelming masculinity of the characters, disturbed me. About halfway through, I quit reading.

Sorenson opens her review by noting that I’m not a lesbian. My opinion on your character’s sexuality or how you choose to portray it carries little or no weight,As a straight female writer who's best known (if known at all) for SILVER KISS, a novel featuring a strong gay cast and starring a lesbian werewolf, I find this comment fascinating. The implication seems to be that unless you're gay yourself, you can't offer any constructive criticism on a gay novel. It's like apologising in advance and giving the author permission to dismiss everything Sorenson says.

 In the comment thread, one commenter says that I think if you don’t like lesbian sex then you really shouldn’t be reading and reviewing the book, which hits me as drastically unfair. Leaving aside that I've read plenty of straight sex scenes that squicked me (Anita Blake, I'm looking at you), since when did being a lesbian become a requirement for reading lesbian fiction? Anymore than, say being American Indian was a requirement for reading books about American Indians or (pushing the point, I know), being a vampire was a requirement for reading a vampire novel?

Another interesting comment from the thread:

...as a straight reviewer of lesbian for a long time now, it is hard to review a book in which sexuality and gender roles are not a personal experience. I’ve felt the same as you in that I’ve wondered if I’ve had the right to review lesbian as a straight person. And I’m sure I’ve gone off the mark or said some things that a lesbian would be like, “what?”

I don't want to dismiss anyone's opinions here, but it irritates me to think, whilst there's a massive market for m/m romances read largely by straight women, that there's an apparent feeling that lesbian books should only be for lesbian readers. For one thing, that would mean I shouldn't be writing any more Urban Wolf books and that would make me sad. For another, I like to think anyone could pick up SILVER KISS and enjoy it, regardless of who or what they are.

In any case, it seems to me that Sorenson's reasons for disliking The Midnight Hunt are nothing to do with the characters' sexuality (she frequently reviews lesbian fiction for Dear Author), and all to do with the execution of the premise and the flaws she found in the plot:

I also thought Sylvan’s characterization was weak. Weres are hypersexual beings, needing constant physical release. If they don’t mate, or at least copulate, they can become violent and unstable ...Sylvan is reluctant to see to her own needs ... Sylvan decides she’d rather be alone forever than risk losing a partner.

The Alpha’s sexual frustration is bad for the pack. Her needy scent can trigger a snarling hump-fest by sending all of the females into heat and causing dominant members to fight for mating rights. I had trouble believing that Sylvan would continue to deny herself release and jeopardize the safety of her pack.And whilst she does say that she struggled with the portrayal of sexuality in the book, again I don't think that means she's measuring all lesbian fiction by this one novel, and that all lesbian fiction is squicky to her. And the "don't like it, don't read it," mantra just pisses me off. It's decidedly unhelpful.

Someone else asks:

... where is that line between other-ing a character because you come from a certain POV and honestly speaking about your ability to empathize with a book? Now this is an issue that I've seen before. Anyone remember #racefail? The YA Whitewashing Affair? It's so hard to take a sensitive subject of any kind - be it sexuality or race - and bring it in a public arena where personal opinion comes into play. A book is subjective. People will bring their own experiences and expectations to it, and there's nothing a writer can do about that except write the best book they can and hope. But if you comment negatively on a book that contains one of these sensitive subjects, it seems that people will immediately assume your issue is with that subject, not the writing, the characterisation, or whatever. They assume you're saying "this gay book didn't work for because it's a gay book," not "this gay book didn't work for me because I couldn't connect with the protagonist."

It feels like an impossible problem to solve to me. One of the things I've worried most about with the Urban Wolf books is whether my gay characters will ring true, given my own sexuality, and whether I'll be judged as the author because of my sexuality. In the end I kind of made peace with it by deciding that all I could do was write characters who felt true to me and let the readers judge the job I'd done. So far, the response has been great, so I guess I did fine.

I was delighted to see The Midnight Hunt up for review on Dear Author, A) because it's on my TBR pile, and B) because I'm very interested in reading lesbian UF/PNR, and I don't see the genre given a lot of exposure on mainstream blogs. It would be a massive shame if reviews like Sorenson stopped reviewing lesbian fiction because she feels, as a straight woman, she can't offer a fair review.

*I tried so hard to come up with something snappier than that for a title

We're all mad here

In lieu of actual content:

Daily Lovecraft - HP Lovecraft's first day as a substitute teacher at Arkham Junior High School Thanks, dwg , for making me laugh hysterically at work and inviting curious glances from my co-workers.

Alice and Kev - as a recovering Sims addict (I want Sims Medieval, dammit!), I love this. It's actually quite moving in places. Although I am opposed to computer programmes thinking for themselves. 

Indie Book Blog reviews NIGHT AND CHAOS and thinks I'm very talented. Huzzahs!

We're watching the V remake. I love how it's basically Cancelled/Finished Sci-Fi Show Actors Reunited. Bit concerned about Father Jack; he's not the greatest resistance fighter ever. Every time he opens his mouth, something goes wrong. Loving Oded Fehr and Charles Mesure. Particularly Charles Mesure. 

I wonder if, if we had the technology and we wrecked up Earth badly enough, we'd jet off to the nearest habitable planet and conduct a hostile takeover?

State of the Nome: I cannot cope with freedom

Give me absolute freedom in which to do whatever I want, and I will usually panic and just watch hours of Come Dine With Me. Kyle and I are almost terminally incapable of making choices between us; ask one what the other wants for dinner and they'll reply "you decide," at which point the asker will panic and just watch hours of Come Dine With Me order in pizza to avoid the responsibility of making a decision.

I'd like to say I'm less flakey when it comes to writing, and that I just sit my arse down every night and work on a project until it's done, dammit, but the truth is unless I have a deadline, I'm lot more ... relaxed in my approach. I don't really buy into the muse myth, but if there is a muse for Nome, she's fickle and unreliable. So since I finished the edits for DEMONISED, instead of cracking on with Blood and Bones, Wild, and Halflife like I told myself I would, I've just been messing around with stuff. There's the tessa_morelock novella, the anthologies I'm editing, and some half-baked ideas about kelpies. It's not that I'm lazy about my writing, but I am easily distracted by Shiny Things.

This needs to stop! No more Shiny Things! So I've made a list of things to do in March and April. Keeping in mind that I'll be starting Urban Wolf 3 in May, this seems like plenty to be getting on with in the mean time:

1. Finish the Tessa novella. 1k a day should wrap it up by the end of the week, I think.
2. Finish editing Wild. Ideally I'd like this done by the end of March so I can publish it in April.
3. Make significant progress on Blood and Bones and Halflife. I'm not really giving myself a specific goal to aim for, because if I don't achieve it, I'll just feel bad about myself, and nobody wants that. But it would be nice to be close to finishing first drafts on both by the end of April.

I've also got guest blogs and horoscopes to write, and I need to send DEMONISED off to some reviewers, but those should be quick n'dirty tasks, so I'm not counting them in the list. So! It's March 8th! I have fifty three days to accomplish three things. That seems pretty damn achievable.

Your Daily Lovecraft is here

So I really was joking about the Daily Lovecraft thing, but then I spent yesterday watching the first two Reanimator films with chaostheory  and Kyle and realised that sometimes the Elder Gods have their own plan for you. I'm not sure Lovecraft would recognise his story, but there was much hilarity, and even a philosophical discussion over whether Herbert West really exists, or is merely a projection of Dan's own psyche. And then we just made slashy jokes, because it's pretty obvious Herbert loves Dan very, very much.

And then we watched an online review of Mansions of Madness, which looks to be the most horribly complicated boardgame ever designed. It's the kind of game that might actually induce madness if you attempt to play it, and I'm sure we will own it before much longer.

Anyway, all this Lovecrafting meant I got no writing done this weekend, despite my best intentions. I was going to write while Kyle and chaostheory  were watching the films, but apparently this would have been antisocial, possibly even rude, so I dutifully shut down my laptop. Guys! I have done no writing of worth for almost a month now *chews fingernails* I'm determined to finish my current tessa_morelock wip before I do anything else, because I really could get it done in a week if I make myself sit down and work, dammit. I've got guest blogs to write for the NIGHT AND CHAOS ebook tour, but they can wait til the weekend.

So, my goal this week is to write at least 1k a day on the Tessa wip so I actually have something to report to springathon  on Wednesday. I can do that, right?